FullCodePress

Breaking news: Team USA in turmoil

21 May 2010 | admin | 1 Comments

In this exclusive report, we bring you news that Garrett Murray is no longer part of Team USA. Reasons are unclear at this stage as to why Murray has been replaced in the team, but there’s a number of rumours swirling around teh interwebs already. FullCodePress news attempts to shed some light on this bombshell by looking at the possibilities…

Performance enhancing drugs

The use of performing enhancing drugs for competitive web building has never been fully investigated. Whilst members of all FullCodePress teams are required to undergo stringent drug testing, there’s long been rumours of these been circumvented. We contacted Team USA captain, Liz Danzico, in London where she’s speaking at a conference, for a statement. She was terse: “Garrett has passed every single drugs test he’s undertaken. No one in Team USA has been caught … I mean has failed a drugs test.” When asked to clarify her statement, Danzico hung up on our reporter.

The salary cap

Each FullCodePress team has to fit within a salary cap to ensure a level and fair playing field. FullCodePress organiser Russ Weakley, aka Cameron Mansell, explains: “FullCodePress is about providing the best competition possible. There’s clearly some difference in the GNP’s of New Zealand, Australia and the USA and we believe a salary cap ensures no team can stack itself full of superstars.” Asked to comment on rumours that Garrett Murray had received additional payments from Team USA for “promotional purposes”, Weakley confirmed that there is an ongoing investigation into all three FullCodePress teams. When pressed further and asked to comment on persistent rumours of ongoing and systematic rorting of the salary cap by Team Aussie, Weakley said any Melbourne connections with the team were “purely coincidental” and hung up the phone on our reporter.

Sexual addiction

There’s no question that Garrett Murray is one good looking dude! But has that been a factor in his replacement in Team USA? Actually, we have no freaking idea, but it makes a good headline. What we can say, though, is that the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Service, which is where long-time friend of Garrett Murray, Tiger Woods, recently spent some time, does not deny that Murray is currently spending time there. Spokesperson for Pine Grove said, “our policy is to neither confirm nor deny any person’s residence here” before hanging up the phone on our reporter.

So there you have it. FullCodePress rocked by scandal! A key question now is whether Team USA newcomer, John Ford, will be able to cope with the white-hot, pressure-cooker, atmosphere of FullCodePress. We’ll be looking into that soon!